Reality?

Oh geez. Now I have to talk about me and my life forreal since you know, sometimes that’s just necessary.

Welp. Here goes nothing.

I don’t really know how to start this and I say know a lot because It’s a very versatile word that can be used almost anywhere. You know?

Just in case you haven’t read my other works or don’t like short stories that don’t really answer the questions they ask, I write a lot like someone thinks or would write in a dairy.

Honestly I don’t even know why. Maybe it has something to do with this “voice” everyone keeps talking about.

Or maybe it’s just that I can slip in and out of different mindstates like scary easily.

I would really like to say that I’ve been writing my whole life and I reached this through gradual progress and effort, but I’d be lying.

I’ve always been good at using language to express myself.

But  in my life, I have this incessant need to be completely perfect.

Especially on paper, there it really manifests its self. So much so that at times, it can be quite scary and disabling to even write a single paragraph.

“Is this right?”

“Am I talking too much?”

“Is there a better word that I can use?”

“Is this too short or too long?”

“Who even cares?”

I think all of those things for every word. Every one.

It makes me want to cry sometimes.

And now you ask, what’s the problem there?

And to thaf I can’t really answer. It’s just something I need to say and explain to myself.Because honestly it’s just perfectionistic behaviour that’s way past due.

Also. I’d just like to take sometime and talk about my inspiration.

Because I have so much of it everywhere.

Every single character I write about has a person I’ve met behind them and I think it’d be hard to write up a character completely from scratch. Way too hard.

So everyone has a person behind them. Some even have several people behind their story.

Not all of them are people I even know personally. Or people that even exsist oyt of the books they came from.

And while I write I have a bad habit of making me the protagonist. 

Let’s play a game: spot the protag.

Character 1: rebel, orphan, rejected

Character 2: nerd, sheltered, secretly a dancer

Character 3: nice, airhead, popular

If you said “this game is crude and makes absolutely no sense.” then you’re right.

 Because a character should have layers to their personality and not just fit the protag stereotypes.

But that’s what I tend to do. I force my characters in these tiny outlines and keep them there. So I’m trying to add more to my stories and characters with each story. Because it’s good for my writing.

Okay I think that’s enough for one post, hmhh?

This is me, signing off

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