What a Nerrrrd !!

*PSA* Well, I recently learned that a dork is the official name for a whale’s penis so you can bet on me never using that word again. Anyway,

I am a big fan of podcasts. As someone who reads a lot and doesn’t always want to strain my eyes or sit down and actually focus, I really appreciate the auditory tales of the world.

Now I am fully aware that when I say podcasts, the thing that most likely pops into your head is someone sitting behind a microphone giving me shitty life advice that depends on the times. BUT, podcasts can be much, much different.

I am a novice on the scene, I’m not even caught up with most the of the more popular shows, but I still really love them. So here is a list of things and podcasts that I am enamored with.

Welcome to Night vale.  This show is really long and I’ve only hear like 50 episodes (which is actually half of the show right now I feel I’m discrediting myself), but just 1 episode is enough to really intrigue someone. Usually 20 to 30 minutes long, the show is about a small, super weird town in the middle of the desert. All of it (well actually a few episodes are told by Kevin, an employee of Strexcorp, one of the antagonists of our story) told from the voice of a gay radio show host, Cecil Baldwin. The radio reports on everything happening in town and in the studio, including the forbidden dog park, a series of missing interns, khoshekh (I can’t figure out how to transcribe the pronunciation, sorry y’all) the floating cat in the men’s restroom, and the mayor Pamela Winchell. The rest of the story is up to you to discover. The show is available almost everywhere, too. Youtube, Soundcloud, mobile Spotify (you can listen in order and without ads, that goes for all other podcasts on the platform), Google Play and iTunes, comes at the low, low price of free. This one was my gateway, I suggest this one to any and everyone.

Alice Isn’t Dead This one is by the same people who made WtNV,  except it is a lot more intense. I actually finished this show, as the second season only started last week. It’s about a female truck driver going around America, looking for her missing wife, Alice, and running from a terrifying man from Thistle while trying to figure out how they’re connected. She visits odds towns that never existed, and weird ass gas stations,has run-ins with young girls and police men, and Keesha (our narrator) just generally stands up against strange occurrences and paranormal stuff. This show isn’t for those who are easily spooked, as some episodes get awfully descriptive, but it is a great thriller and if you are looking for a new obsession for a few hours, this show is a great candidate.

Kakos Industries Are you narcissistic? Is your name Sakura Stevens? Do you have a deep rooted cynicism and arrogance? Well then this is the show for you. Kakos Industries is a radio update for shareholders in the Kakos Industries stock. Kakos Industries is a huge corporation, who’s goal is to “Do Evil Better.” I have not made it very far in this series, but it is hella promising. Corin Deeth III inherited the business after the death of his grandfather, and since has been doing a pretty good job doing more evil. He now owns everyone’s soul (part of your taxes go to renting it from Kakos), created Hell, and an artificial office romance, and is tryong to devour and destroy the Brotherhood of Salmon Flagellation, but he has had one major setback to his plan so far. He failed to create the Darkest Universe, but I’m sure Corin will get over that eventually. This show isn’t for those who don’t like generally horrible things, but if you answered yes to any of the questions I asked in the beginning of this paragraph, then you’ll love Corin Deeth III and the Kakos Industries shareholder updates.

Okay I’m done. for this one. If you thought I was actually finished talking about people talking into microphones and spinning really great stories, you were wronnnng. Here’s a preview of the shows I’ll be talking about in the part two (and tbh there will probably be a third) that no one asked for.

Within the Wires; relaxation tapes help you escape the Institute

The Bright Sessions; the X-Men go to therapy

The Penumbra Podcast; stories you know told very differently. Along with Juno Steel, private investigator and GODDAMN Nureyev.


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