An Ebony Appreciation Post

Like most people in this world, I have a best friend. But my best friend just so happens to be very unlike most people in this world.

She’s rather quiet upon first inspection, but once she’s comfortable around you, ohhhh you’ll be able to tell.

She’s probably insane, and is constantly doing something she knows damn well she has no business doing. But she just doesn’t give a shit. She really doesn’t. Some adjectives I’d use to describe Ebony would be:

– Irrational, annoying, cute, irritating, nosy, temperamental, short, really nice, rough, tough, definitely not buff, a little demon in an angel costume, ill-mannered, and lovable, hypocritical, the best and most certainly nuts.

Ebony is the type of person that everyone wants to be around because that girl could punch you straight in the jaw and you just couldn’t stay mad at her. She’s the type of person who’d never leave a crazy asshhat like me.

Most people like to talk about how “opposites attract,” but me and Ebony are two sides of the same screwy, trick coin your “magician” uncle bought at the magic shop. That is to say, we are both near excited to rob you and take your money without a hint of remorse.

In fact, I’ve seen her rob somebody before – and within a few weeks they started dating, it was a very interesting proggresion, but that’s a story for another day.

We are virtually the same person. And while I might be the one screaming and hollering in the middle of the hallway, Ebony will be there, undoubtedly yelling right back. The girl has her downs, sure, but she has her ups as well.

She’s loyal, and when I’m mad for no reason, she always seems to get it. She doesn’t give up, or go away, and she’s always willing to listen to what I have to say. Even if I sound like an asinine bum smoking crack cocaine half the time.

And she paid for like all my food this year, which means that next year I am most likely going to starve. (update: I am starving)

Ebony is the match to my striking paper, the cleaner to my murder job, the beast to my beauty (jk I love you don’t kill me), the everything to my nothing. I wouldn’t trade her for the world, and I love her to the moon and back.

So, Ebony, I love you.

This is me,

Signing off


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